DISBELIEF AND GRIEF...

Mom called me today to let me know that a friend of the family passed away. They found him this afternoon. He'd passed in his sleep.

Steve was the used car salesman that worked across the street from The Bar. He was in his early 50's and as far as anyone, he was healthy.

I'm blown away. I'm in such shock that he's gone. I don't think the grief part has sunk in yet. I know it will.

He was such a nice man.

Steve, you will be missed tremendously.

Steve's the second person this week that I've known that's passed. My Uncle Steve's best friend passed over the weekend. I knew him from events but not well.

They say it comes in threes. I hope not.

GOOEY IS A TRUMP WANNABE...

The other night, I had the back door propped open while I was cooking dinner so that Gooey could run in and out. He loves to "play back-ard". Leaving the door open gives me the opportunity to get things done and keep an eye on him (I can see him out the backdoor and the kitchen window).

Gooey had come inside for the umpteenth time and I heard him say this as he went running back outside:

"Bubba! No! You're grounded!"

Evidently, big brother Bubba had wandered into the backyard and was touching one of Gooey's toys. He was thereby judged and sentenced by his younger brother for the fault.

Bubba comes through the backdoor laughing histerically, "Mom, he grounded me!"

I can see Gooey all grown up, sitting in that big burgundy velvet chair, pointing his finger at people.

Hopefully, he'll have better taste in hairstyles.

MOMMEEE NEEDS A NEW PRINTER...

I've found a new website that I'm addicted to. 5 Minutes for Mom is an awesome site. There's a new contest going on to win a new printer. It's the same printer that was on Celebrity Apprentice. I so loved this years Apprentice. Trace Adkins couldn't have been any hotter!

Oh back on track to the printer. My old printer doesn't work right with my new computer that has Vista. I do need a new printer. So 5 Minutes For Mom would be so awesome to choose me as their winner.

WHO AM I...

Really. I wanted to do a post to let people know who I am. I'm not talking simple details. I'm talking deep-down soul-searching this is who I truly am. Are you ready? Let's go.

1. My name is Jeanna.
2. I'm the 3rd daughter of Joseph and Linda.
3. My oldest sister is Angela (6 yrs older) and my next older sister is Vicky (10 1/2 months older).
4. I've been married to Tim, for almost 15 years (Yeah, honey, I'd better get something really good this year for putting up with your crap for that many years!).
5. I have 2 sons, Bubba, 12 going on 22, and Gooey, 2.
6. I wish I could have another child, a girl.
7. I'm 38 years old and I'm feeling every bit of it.
8. I'm overweight.
9. I have been all my life.
10. I drive a minivan but love it.
11. I'd still like to have a sports car but it's not practical right now.
12. I don't have a lot of friends because I suck at making them.
13. I'm shy.
14. I'd do almost anything to help a friend in trouble.
15. I won't speak up for myself.
16. I don't like confrontations.
17. I used to crochet.
18. I also like to play with Photoshop.
19. I can sing pretty well and always wanted to be a famous singer.
20. I like taking pictures, mainly of my kids.
21. I have a decent camera but wish I could afford a better one.
22. I wish I could afford a lot of other things but I suck at handling money.
23. My bills are all paid.
24. I wish my sex life were more exciting.
25. I have low cholesterol.
26. I miss my dad...a lot.
27. I have a deathly fear of the dentist so my teeth aren't in the best shape.
28. I love to cook and I'm pretty good at it.
29. My house is messy because I don't have the time or energy to care.
30. I appear really smart to people but deep down I don't feel like I'm smart.
31. I worry about what people think of me.
32. I have allergy asthma.
33. I love to drink iced tea and diet coke.
34. My favorite food is shrimp.
35. I don't drink water.
36. I like all kinds of music, including country.
37. I have the hots for Drew Carey.
38. I watch too much TV.
39. I have saggy boobs.
40. My hair is auburn but I highlight it to strawberry blond.
41. I have green eyes and I'm partially blind in the right one.
42. I have a good complexion.
43. I won't wear my shoes in the house but I won't walk outside without them.
44. I hate when my husband spends time with his motorcycle because it means he's not with me. 45. I have to sleep with my feet outside the covers.
46. I like A1 on my potatoes.
47. I love to eat out.
48. I've never had sex with anyone except my husband.
49. I adore my boys more than anything in the world.
50. I have a lot of regrets in my life.

So, there's 50 random things about me. I hope this shows you a little more of who I am.

If you want to post the same about yourself, have fun. Be creative and honest. Post a comment and let me know if you do it so I can come read yours too. I'd love to.

PHOTO CONTEST...

There's a photo contest abrewin' over at 5 Minutes for Mom. It's simple. It's easy. And I'm all about simple and easy. The contest is to post a photo that represents what motherhood means to you.

The above photo is one of my absolute favorites. You can't see either of my son's faces but you can see the love between them just in the way their sharing that Pooh pillow. These two boys love to wrestle on the floor and tackle each other anywhere else in the house they can find the opportunity. But even though they're wrestling, they always end with a hug and a giggle. Just looking at this photo, I can hear them laughing with each other. Those are the moments that make motherhood so special. A million dirty diapers, vomit, worms, and any other nasty boy item are all worth it just for hearing the sound of those giggles.

MY LITTLE HERB GARDEN...

I decided to plant myself a small herb garden. I don't really have a green thumb. My thumb is more a light green.

Gooey and I went to KMart and they had an awesome selection of herbs.

Here are a few of what we planted:


This one is Thai Basil. I don't know what flavor it is but it sounded good.



Spicy Basil: I'm really looking forward to trying this one.

Greek Oregano...can you say "MMMMM Tasty"?

A 2-fer: Summer Savory and Lemon Thyme. A friend told me Summer Savory is really good in meatloaf. Will definitely have to try it.

Not pictured: Sweet Basil and Italian Parsley (which was inside in the window sill). I had put them inside because they smelled so good I wanted to smell them in the kitchen.

Hopefully, I can keep these little fellows alive long enough to cook with them.

MY NEWEST ADDICTION...

Bubba and I made a dash to the grocery store the other night. Leaving the store, I was thirsty. We stopped at one of the machines outside the store and Bubba talked me into buying a Java Monster. There are 3 flavors: Mean Bean, Big Black, and Loca Moca. I gave Bubba the choice and oh boy, did he choose well.

The Mean Bean is just awesome. It's definitely my new addiction. They're about $2 a can and with only 200 calories per can, it's not too bad.

Today, Bubba got the Loca Moca. He liked it but for me, not being a huge fan of mocha, I decided I liked the Mean Bean better.

Bonus, I pass the store on my way to work so if I'm in need of an early morning boost, it's a quick dash into their parking lot.

SPRING HAS SPRUNG...AGAIN...

I think we've finally done it. I think spring is finally here and it might stay this time. We've actually reached mid-70's today. It's been beautiful outside.

We began the day by driving over the border to Kansas and going shopping at Legends. This is a new "mall" that opened up last summer. It's an outdoor mall and with the weather today was perfect for it. Our task for going there was to find Bubba a new hoodie. We went into probably a dozen or more different stores before finding one at Levi Strauss.

Gooey was extremely cute while we were out. Everytime we entered a store, he got upset because he was inside but when we'd leave the store, he'd scream with joy about being outside again. It was too cute.

We lunched at "Cheeseburger in Paradise". I wouldn't say we had the best experience there. We waited 15 minutes after being seated at our table before finally asking someone if we were ever going to be served. The hostess forgot to "assign" us to someone. So we ordered and got our drinks, but the waitress forgot our salads and brought our food out first. We canceled the salads but she also brought the wrong item out for the boys. We had ordered the 6 mini-cheeseburgers and she brought us the 2. Two mini-cheeseburgers wouldn't feed Bubba let alone Bubba and Gooey. But, on their behalf, I will say they took the drinks, the boys' item, and the salads off the check. I will say, the burgers were awesome.

After our outing, we put Gooey down for his nap and I worked in the yard. I raked leaves (a small mountain's worth), swept the patio and added some stepping stones along the patio walkway so the grill would have a new home. It looks really nice.

So now I've been showered, Gooey's in the tub, we've had dinner (yummy beef dogs on the grill, slightly crispy). It's now time for a quiet night in front of the tv sipping on some iced tea and having some tylenol for my sore back. I believe the finale of Oprah's Big Give is on tonight. Plus, I have some Tivo'ed shows to catch up on.

So, good night, my friends. I wish you all a safe, happy week ahead.

FOR WOMEN...

I was reminded today of a good joke.

A woman is sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, middle-aged man enters.

He is so striking that the woman can not take her eyes off him. The man notices her overly attentive stares and walks directly toward her.

Before she can offer her apologies for rudely staring he leans over and whispers, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do for $20… But, on one condition.”

Flabbergasted, the woman asks what the condition is.

The man replies, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”

The woman considers his proposition for a moment and then removes a $20 bill from her purse, which she presses into the man’s hand along with her address.

She then looks deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully says, “Clean my house!”

A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS...

I'm struggling.

I'm not a super religious person but I do believe in God and the bible. I believe in His word. I follow the 10 commandments. But I'm struggling with something pertaining to His word.

Honor thy mother and father. Our 5th commandment.

Let me fill you in. First of all, my mother is an alcoholic. She's in complete denial. She thinks that since she can control her drinking, that she isn't an alcoholic. By my standards, she is. There have been times where I've called her and had an entire conversation with her yet the next morning, she doesn't remember talking to me.

Her husband is an alcoholic. They're quite the pair. But he's a whole post in itself so we'll stick to Mom.

Second, Mom is definitely all about Mom. Her house and friends come first before everything else, including family. She'll deny this but history has proven.

So, on to the latest. My gas bill goes to her house. She used to live in the same house that I live in now. For some reason, the gas company keeps putting her address on my bill and sends it to her house. We've fought this for 4 years now with no resolution. They fix it for a month or 2 then somehow it happens again.

It's not a problem for me. Up until last week, I didn't care that she opens it anyway. Well, I paid our bill late last month because our hot water heater had gone out and the bill was huge. In the meantime, the new bill went out with last month's balance as unpaid.

So, Mom calls me last Sunday and begins the conversation chewing me out about the bill. No good morning. No how are you doing. Just you've got a problem. Your gas bill isn't paid and they're going to shut off your gas. This totally, completely struck a huge nerve with me and since she wasn't listening to my explanation and wasn't believing me when I told her it was already paid, I hung up on her.

Mom doesn't call me on a normal basis. I'm normally the one that does the calling. She's only seen her grandkids twice this year. We only live 10 miles apart.

But this is normal for her.

So I'm struggling with just how much crap I have to put up with from her. How much of this sort of treatment am I to deal with before going against what I believe in and call it quits with her? Does God give passes on His commandments when it pertains to a drunk, selfish parent?

Here's the kicker. Today's her birthday. I haven't spoken with her since last Sunday. I don't want to speak with her but if I don't call her, I'll never hear the end of it.

I'm struggling. Support me, my friends, and give me your thoughts.

CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THIS!...

One of the biggest things I wanted to post about today was what Gooey said last night. He said his first complete sentence!

We were playing in the living room and he was looking for a toy. It's an American Idol toy that I believe he got when the babysitter took him to McDonald's. I asked him where it was and he answered:

"It's upstairs in Daddy's room."

I was so thrilled. Now, we can communicate very easily with him. His speech is amazing for his age. But up until now, they've always been incomplete sentences. Short and to the point.

I'm so thrilled for my growing little boy!

RANDOMS....

Today's post is about random thoughts. I was sitting here trying to figure out what I would blog about today and so many things came to mind I thought I'd just include them all.

1. I've discovered I have a bad habit. It's a recent thing and I don't have a clue how it developed. It's using the word freakin'. I noticed it in the worst possible way too. I answered the phone last night to one of Bubba's friends. Bubba had just walked out the door to go play outside so I told his friend he had just missed him. Our weather here is really cold. I'm not talking a spring breeze as it should be at this time of the year. I'm talking freakin' cold. See, there it is again. And that's how I used it talking to Bubba's friend. Now he probably didn't notice it because I believe that's how the kids are talking these days. But I noticed it. I *HAVE* to break this habit but I'm not sure how. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

2. I don't have to work today. For the first Saturday in months, I don't have to be at work. My first thought was that I'd sleep in but you can see by the time on this post that I'm wide awake early in the morning. I could/should be cleaning but I'm really not up for that yet today. I did spend some time making some siggies over at Pixel Perfect Signatures. We're really behind on requests because everyone's RL's are so busy.

3. Daddeee and I are planning another trip to White Cloud. It'll probably be in the next few weeks. We've been so busy lately that we don't get to spend much time alone. He's been working on "The Other Woman" (his motorcycle) and I've been catching up on errands.

4. One of the errands this past week was getting Bubba a new violin. He's been playing for almost 2 years now (hard to believe it's been that long already). He did have a 3/4 violin but outgrew it. Yes, he's grown a good 2-3 inches in the past few months. So now he has a brand new full size violin. We also upgraded his bow. Oh and his new case is the bomb (is that term even still hip to use?). And the payment was upgraded too. It was $25 now it's $50. We could have paid for it outright, but this way, they'll replace it if something happens to it. Another bonus!

5. Our new cellphones came yesterday. We added Bubba to the plan with his own phone. We got a prepaid phone for him for Christmas with the stipulation that he bought his own minutes and used the phone responsibly. He proved he can handle it and I'll admit, I've enjoyed him having it. If he's out and about in the neighborhood, I can just text him when it's time to come home. My new phone is a slider with an MP3 player. Now if I could only figure out how to use all the functions.

6. My dearest husband asked me why I changed my blog look again. I wasn't really thrilled with the last color scheme. It was so "springy" and since spring isn't here yet, I figured I'd change to something a little more "me". I really like earthtones. I added the Kokopelli to the header because I really like the character. I've collected it for years. It started back when we first started to try to conceive our second child. We had bad luck and since Kokopelli is a character of mischief and fertility, I thought it was appropriate. He may have been slow working for us, but we still got our Gooey! And, no, I didn't add him to the blog as a fertility booster. My baby days are done!

So that's pretty much the past few days summed up for you. We have no big plans for the weekend. I plan to catch up on some housework and watch movies. I'm thinking today will be a chili day since it's a chilly day hehe. Yes, here it is almost the middle of April and we're supposed to have snow here today. Gee, I love living in Missouri!

DREAM LOCATION...

We were talking at work today about what your dream location would be. One of the girls is leaving to move to Georgia because it's her dream place to live. Everyone was discussing where their dream location is. Someone said Oregon because she went there on her honeymoon and fell in love with it.

I don't have a dream location. I've been thinking about this ever since. I'd like to be somewhere that has a beach. I'm not a good swimmer, but I do like the idea of a sunrise or sunset over the water. I'm afraid of hurricanes though (strange being afraid of something like this since I've lived in a tornado zone all my life).

I've always wanted to visit Maine but I'm afraid being up that far north in the winter time wouldn't agree with me on a long term basis.

I could possibly do Wyoming or Montana. I like the idea of raising cattle and having horses. I don't know much about either of these states and what they're like to live in, though.

I think I have a lot of research ahead of me to find my dream location.

What's your dream location?