WHO AM I?...

I've been sitting here this evening trying to figure out what to post on my blog. I haven't been the best of bloggers lately and I know I need to post something but my thoughts lately are just so scrambled.

I'm having issues lately deciding on who I am. No, I don't mean I've forgotten my name. What I mean is, I don't know exactly who I am at this point in my life. Right now, my life revolves around work and taking care of the family. That makes me a wife and mother, but beyond that, I'm lost.

I checked out our local community magazine this evening hoping to find a new hobby or take a class to learn something new. I could learn to salsa dance. I can learn a new language. There were many possibilities but nothing that really jumped out at me.

I guess for now, I'll continue my quest for who I am.

On another note, weekend after next is my 20 year class reunion. It's being held at a fancy hotel downtown. I'm really looking forward to it but with nervousness. Thinking about it makes me feel like I'm back in school and it's the first day all over again. I'll post more about this later because I have more thoughts to share.

Last, an update on the weight loss. Today was "weigh in day". As of 5:30am this morning, I've lost 25 pounds. In a lot of ways it doesn't seem like much. I haven't noticed much of a difference in my clothing. Yes, things are a bit looser and I can wear a few shirts that I had stopped wearing because they were just a little too tight for my tastes. I guess my biggest let down is that no one has noticed. You'd think leaving behind that much weight would make a noticeable difference. Or is that people are just too busy in their own lives to notice?

DIAGNOSIS: FINALLY

It's been a while since I've posted but it's been a crazy few weeks around here.

First off, I've been seeing my doctor (well, actually, she's a nurse practitioner (NP) but she's excellent). Since I've been having issues with being pre-diabetic, then being told that I'm not pre-diabetic, then having high blood sugar episodes, we decided it was time for me to begin regularly testing my sugars. I've also been continuing the monitoring of everything I eat to get a better view of what's going on inside me. Since I've been doing this (it's been about 5 weeks now) I've lost 22.5 pounds. Along with all of this and some blood work, I've been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Disease.

A small overview of PCOS is that I have hormone issues that effect pretty much every system of my body. According to the NP, I've had this all of my life and one of the major results of this is being overweight. The body is insulin resistant causing the cells to convert pretty much everything to fat.

I'm not blaming my weight problem on this but it does help explain a lot of it. It accounts for why I have such a hard time losing weight. Even my husband has commented many times about how I can barely eat anything yet still gain. It's been a standing joke in our family that if he eats something, I gain the weight from it.

So hopefully with this diagnosis and with proper treatment (this will hopefully begin this week, pending some more blood tests), I can deal with my weight management a little better.

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Some other things that have been happening is the renovation of the backyard. It's not really so much a renovation as a clean up. Bubba and I have been working to remove the rock from around the patio and have begun turning the soil getting ready to plant some grass seed. I decided mowing the grass would be a whole lot easier that pulling weeds from the rocks every other day.

With the weather being so hot around here, we've been taking our time and working after the sun goes down. The project is going slow but we're really not in a hurry to complete it for any reason. Also, it's been fun for us to get our hands dirty and enjoy some mother-son time not to mention getting a good workout together.

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Gooey's doing well, too. He's growing and learning so fast it just amazes me. He starts with his new sitter when Bubba goes back to school next month and I'm really looking forward to him having interaction with other kids.

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So that's all that's been happening in Mommeee's Life. It's not thrilling but I never said I was a thrill-seeker.

Check back for some updates on me and the kids. I'll try to post some new pictures or videos soon.

BUBBA? IS THAT YOU?

Since yesterday was the 4th of July, it was all about family time. We got out of bed and did everything as a family, from cleaning the house to cooking dinner.

While cleaning up the backyard in anticipation of our arriving guests, Bubba breezed by me and I happened to notice he's within inches of being as tall as me. Wait. Who is this child? I see him every day but for some reason, today he's taller. He went to bed last night as my little boy and woke up this morning a tall, lanky, young man. How did this happen?

What mystical force sneaks into our hallway, finds my children's rooms and changes them without my permission? I'm not liking this.

Bubba is becoming so independent. He no longer wants to go out to dinner with us. Yes, it's cheaper to eat out now since his soon-to-be teenage stomach can engulf half a restaurant menu but I miss the bizarre personality of this creature at my dinner table.

He has friends that I don't know. With the addition of a cell phone to his repertiore, he's texting with this girl and that. I do reserve the right to read all of his texts, but I have no faces to put with these obnoxious "Hi! :)~" messages.

When he's with the friends that I do know, they share comments that have completely different meanings to me. When did "That's so gay!" change it's meaning? I feel like I'm watching television and it's stuck on the Spanish channel. I can see what's happening but I have no idea what they're saying.

Would someone please slow down this world so I can have my little boy with me a bit longer? At this rate, the next time I look at him, he'll be hugging his own little boy.

CONVERSATION WITH GOOEY...

Last night after dinner, I sat down and was flipping channels on the tv waiting for Bubba to finish his dishes so we could go for our evening walk. Gooey was playing cars on his rug on the floor. For some reason, I was singing the song Lola. I'd had it in my head all day.

Me: "Lola. La la la la Lola."

Gooey: "Momma, stop that."

Me: "Why?"

Gooey: "Cuz it's making me crazy."

Me (laughing): "Oh, Gooey. You're a hoot!"

Gooey: "With a capital H, Momma."

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.