THE BIG DAY...

Yes, today was the big day. I'm not talking about just any ordinary day. I am talking about THE day...the day for my annual exam at the doctor.

All of you women know what I'm talking about. This is something that you can't deal with lightly. It's an occasion that you have to psych yourself up for. You prepare for it days in advance.

I started my preparation Saturday. I went shopping for new underwear and socks. Yes, I buy myself a new pair of nice panties every year for this event along with a new pair of socks. Now, I know that the doctor never sees the underwear but it's all part of the psyching-up process. The new socks are a requirement. When you stick your feet up into the stirrups, you don't want the stain of the grape jelly you stepped in at breakfast to be seen. Your feet are pretty much in the doctor's face.

Sunday was shaving day. I spent an hour, possibly longer, in the bathroom shaving every part of my body that needed a good shaving. I'm a lazy shaver. If I'm only going to be wearing knee-length pants, I don't bother shaving my upper legs. Why bother with what's not seen? Do you really think that the paramedic breathing life into your body, after the accident that your momma always predicts is going to happen, is really looking at your unshaven legs? This particular ceremony requires the full leg shave plus some neat trimming of other crucial areas.

So this morning was shower time. Yes, I used up every possible drop of hot water within a 5 mile radius. It's something that has to be done. A woman has to be her cleanest for an exam of this caliber.

But I adore my doctor. She makes me feel so comfortable about the whole process. Well, at least as comfortable as a woman can get when someone is inserting a metal speculum into such a private space.

I did fine. I survived for another year. Plus I have my pretty new panties as a bonus.

BONUS: According to the doctor's scale, I've lost 39.5 lbs!