Thursday, June 22, 2006

A WISE MAN ONCE SAID...

There is a blog that I visit often because I find it very entertaining and interesting. I've posted about Kelly Stern before. He has added a really neat thing to his blog. He requests questions from his "viewers" on Wednesdays so I thought I'd post a question for him. Here is my question and his response (Kelly is in bold):

First of all, I want you to know that I adore your blog and I visit often (I'm mommeee from It's a Mommeee's Life).
I wanted to post a question for your Wednesday Questions but I felt the need to explain why I'm asking this question so I figured I'd ask in email instead.
I'm the mom of 2 boys, a 10 yr old and a 5 mth old. I want to raise my boys so that they know that whoever they are as men, I will love them and support them always. I grew up with no boys in the family, I have 2 sisters. I've never raised a boy so every day is full of surprises for me.
Ok, my question is this: What could your parents have done or maybe what did they do to make your life easier as a gay man? Was there anything they could have done that would have made your realization easier?
I think my parents did a wonderful job of raising me and my brother...they never really pressured me to do much and were very trusting of me as a kid and teenager, pretty much letting go where I wanted...and the fact that I always told them the truth about where I was probably helped...I was raised in Lynchburg, Virginia...the home to a thousand churches and the home of Jerry Falwell...so as you can imagine, it was pretty conservative...My parents never really spoke down about gays, and never really brought it up...and I never really brought it up either...I kept it to myself because I just felt it would not be accepted too well...and I did not want to push any issues...but I think even if they would have been more open and liberal, I probably still would not have come out too early...I came out to Mom when I was 32 and have never officially come out to my father...but I feel he knows...some bridges are best crossed quietly...My advice to you would be to let your sons grow up and just let them know that you can and will be there for them no matter what...I have some friends who came out to family and became very close with them, others the opposite happened... Just raise your sons to love people for who they are inside, not their sex, political views, religion or anything else...meet and appreciate people for the person inside...your sons will appreciate it and so will their friends...also..one more note...you have to remember I was a teenager when the AIDS epedemic really took off in the 80's...so it made it a little hard to come out at a young age...these days there is more openess and more visibilty of alternative lifestyles....teach your sons to embrace diversity...race, sex, nationality, or sexual preference.
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer this for me.
You are welcome and sorry I rambled a bit...please feel free to ask me questions anytime...about anything...

This answer should go for everyone. If we all embraced others for who they are and not what they are, the world would be a much more peaceful place.


2 comments:

Kevin said...

What a wonderful mother you must be to ask that! I'm sure your boys will grow up to be very thankful men that they had such a caring mom.

Kelly said...

Your sons are sooo lucky to have you as an open minded mother...too cool! and thanks for the question...